


Please Don't Forget Me

by Gummie88



Category: Free!
Genre: Bittersweet Ending, Car Accidents, College graduation, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Haru's journey through grief, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Major Character Injury, Major character death - Freeform, Moving In Together, Reconnecting with friends, Wakes & Funerals, friends being there for each other, getting engaged
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-27
Updated: 2019-03-27
Packaged: 2019-12-18 17:25:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 22,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18254441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gummie88/pseuds/Gummie88
Summary: A TV show droned on quietly, lost in the sounds of the rolling ocean and the two fans Makoto had on high and pointed towards them. At some point in the day they had ditched most of their clothing, only left in tank tops and boxers. Swimming in the ocean had left them sunkissed and exhausted to their very bones. In fact, Haru was probably only moments away from dozing off as he stared affectionately at the taller boy next to him. Makoto's eyes were delicately closed, breathing deep and muscles relaxed.As Haru stared, he felt compelled. Compelled to do what exactly he couldn't say, just anything, really. In Makoto's bedroom on that hazy summer day things just came to a head and Haru made the first important move. He shifted so that he was propped up on his elbows, looking down at Makoto on the floor.Hearing the commotion and having Haru's shadow block the light of the room had the brunet blearily opening his eyes, meeting Haru's gaze above him. "Haru-chan...?" He called out quietly, confused by their closeness."Makoto..." Haru answered and swallowed. "Can I kiss you?"-In which Haruka Nanase loses Makoto Tachibana, his best friend and life partner, and has to learn how to live again.





	Please Don't Forget Me

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone, I'm back with another one-shot! 
> 
> If you enjoy the story please leave kudos and especially a comment, they motivate me more than anything. I love to hear what you guys think :)
> 
> Please note the tags before reading this. It's gonna be a bumpy ride.

Makoto Tachibana and Haruka Nanase started dating on a blistering hot day in the summer of 2013.

They were in their second year of high school with the world in their hands. It was hard for them to pinpoint the exact day when things became "official", because it felt like there were many instances that could've made them a couple before they finally decided to label it. It's common knowledge that the two boys had grown up together in that small, oceanside town of Iwatobi, and they shared a bond like no other.

It was in their last year of middle school when things really began to get confusing. The two of them spent almost every moment they could together, even outside of swimming. It was those quiet nights shut away in Makoto's room, the fan on and the sound of cicadas outside. They got ready for bed like they had their whole childhood, turning off the lights and crawling under Makoto's covers. However, it began to feel strange, especially for Makoto, and it was in no way Haru's fault. It was just that he didn't realize how he was changing, both physically and mentally, at an alarming rate that left him feeling more timid around his friend.

Now when anyone looks back on it it can obviously be stacked up to just hormones as well as his feelings for Haru developing from ones of innocence into something a little more. Makoto bloomed earlier than Haru, but it didn't take long for the silent swimmer to catch up. Even in the peak of their awkward years things just continued like normal, except with a lot more blushing and endless uncertainties in their minds.

It carried over into high school, though the two were emerging from their preteen confusion into the slightly more secure young adults they were. They perhaps didn't have as much physical contact as they did when they were kids, slowly coming to acknowledge the social norms about how two high school boys should interact. While they were aware of this, something still kept them just as close. A new kind of bond formed between them. The gentleness of Makoto's personality and the bluntness of Haru's just worked in harmony with one another. They could have entire conversations with just a glance into each other's eyes.

When they started the Iwatobi Swim Club their second year and had their other friends around, the thought of "them" was briefly lost for awhile as they were rightfully distracted. Though even in the chaos of it all, Haru would pack a small bag and walk down the narrow streets to the Tachibana household with the intention to stay over for entire weekends. His favorite visits with Makoto were the ones when it was just the two of them, separated from the others. It's not like Haru didn't enjoy the swim club or his teammates, the complete opposite, actually. Just something about having Makoto to himself made everything feel familiar and comfortable. It felt like home.

It was that one day in July when things officially changed. Sprawled out on Makoto's floor, they were trying everything they could to fend off the heat. Haru would have liked to swim most of all, but unfortunately they had just gotten back from a good three hour trip to the sea and it'd be redundant to go back.

A TV show droned on quietly, lost in the sounds of the rolling ocean and the two fans Makoto had on high and pointed towards them. At some point in the day they had ditched most of their clothing, only left in tank tops and boxers. Swimming in the ocean had left them sunkissed and exhausted to their very bones. In fact, Haru was probably only moments away from dozing off as he stared affectionately at the taller boy next to him. Makoto's eyes were delicately closed, breathing deep and muscles relaxed. Haru could see beads of sweat in his hairline from the god awful humidity, though Makoto didn't seem too bothered.

As Haru stared, he felt compelled. Compelled to do what exactly he couldn't say, just anything, really. In Makoto's bedroom on that hazy summer day things just came to a head and Haru made the first important move. He shifted so that he was propped up on his elbows, looking down at Makoto on the floor.

Hearing the commotion and having Haru's shadow block the light of the room had the brunet blearily opening his eyes, meeting Haru's gaze above him. "Haru-chan...?" He called out quietly, confused by their closeness.

"Makoto..." Haru answered and swallowed. "Can I kiss you?"

Makoto stared, his eyes widening the slightest bit at the question. His own pulse thrummed and it felt like it was hard to breathe. His gaze shifted between Haru's sapphire eyes and parted lips before he nodded subtly.

Haru leaned down and placed the softest kiss on Makoto's lips.

It lingered for a few seconds as the boys wanted to feel each other and savor the experience of what was their first kiss. Haru didn't get the angle exactly right and they both didn't really have any idea what to do other than just apply pressure to each other's lips, but it was perfect because it was theirs. It was a short but significant moment in their young lives.

When Haru pulled away, he watched Makoto's eyes flutter open and the sunlight reflected on his green irises. His expression softened into that beautiful, kind smile. "Haru-chan... Can I kiss you again?" He asked.

Haru's own lips upturned into a pure, uncontrollable smile. "Yes, only if you drop the -chan."

\--

It was April of 2015 when Haru and Makoto moved into their first apartment together.

Tokyo was loud and bustling. At first, it was just a lot for the two of them when they began their move for college. Haru would never forget those last real moments in Iwatobi, especially at Makoto's house collecting the final boxes.

Standing in the doorway of Makoto's room, there was an unexpected pain in Haru's chest. It just looked so barren. Posters, trophies, books, and even the glow in the dark stars that were a constant in their young lives were packed away into cardboard boxes. Makoto moved about the room a little sluggishly, almost as if he was trying to make time move by slower. The amount of hours and days tucked away in that small bedroom were irreplaceable. There they had their first kiss, watched the ocean from the small balcony, made love for the first time... said "I love you" to one another. Leaving it behind made Haru's throat feel tight.

Makoto must have been having similar feelings because when the last box was stacked, he stood back and took in the state of his childhood sanctuary. A cool breeze ruffled the white curtains as well as their hair as they were silent for a second. Haru dared to look over at his boyfriend and, to his surprise, he seemed calmer than he would've thought. There were was a sadness in his eyes but there was also contentment.

It was understood between them that Haru was not much for physical affection unless he knew that they were completely alone, but things felt different there. Something told him that Makoto needed comfort.

Taking a slow step forward, Haru embraced Makoto from behind, wrapping his arms tight and securely around the brunet's middle. Their height difference made it so that Haru couldn't put his chin on Makoto's shoulder (which was unfortunate because Haru loved when Makoto would do that to him), so instead he rested his forehead in between Makoto's strong shoulders. Makoto relaxed into the hold, his warm hands coming up to envelop Haru's own on his stomach. He even leaned back slightly to greatly accept the support Haru was giving him. "I just can't believe it's over..." Makoto nearly whispered, too afraid to break the still air.

Haru wasn't exactly sure what "it" was, whether that be their childhood, their high school career, or simply their time in Iwatobi, but he understood all the same. His response was to only tighten his embrace.

"Mako, Haru, are you boys ready?" They heard Mrs. Tachibana call out from the front of the house.

Reluctantly the two parted and Makoto sighed again. "Yeah, be there in a second." He answered her, his voice wavering slightly. He reached down and grabbed a few boxes, leaving the rest for Haru. He gave him a smile. "Let's go, Haru-chan." He said definitively.

Haru followed his example, gathering the last boxes in his arms as Makoto exited the room. When he got to the threshold he looked back one final time before he gently closed the door and left the house.

\--

Whatever sad feelings the two felt about leaving were quickly overridden by the sheer chaos of the actual move-in day. Makoto's parents, sibling, and even Haru's parents joined in to help since they were already in Tokyo for work. It was extremely cramped having so many people in that tiny apartment, especially with Ren and Ran being reckless and messing around more than helping. Even if it was all hectic, having the extra hands helped them out a lot. By the end of the night, things were mostly unpacked except for some small things and other essentials Makoto and Haru would have to go out and buy for themselves.

As the sun set in Tokyo, they all sat down on the floor of the apartment on a blanket (one essential that was missing was a table, which will probably be on the top of their priority list), about to dig in to some take-out they had ordered. It felt strange having everyone around, talking, laughing, and making jokes with one another. Haru wasn't used to lively meals and therefore didn't contribute much to the conversation. Haru's parents were a little more reserved than the Tachibana's, but he was pleasantly surprised by how well they all got along in the same setting since it had been years.

They all had their fill of food which was much needed after such a long day. Even when all their plates were cleaned they sat and visited with each other. It was mostly Haru and Makoto answering questions about school coming up and already planning their visits back to Iwatobi. Everything got cleaned up and everyone was huddled around the front door as they put on their shoes and gathered up their things to travel back home.

"You guys could probably spend the night if you need to, it's going to be a long drive back." Makoto told everyone, though it was mostly directed at his family specifically since they drove.

"That's okay Mako, you guys need time to settle in for yourselves. We're going to miss you, sweetheart." She responded, hugging him tightly. Makoto returned the hug gratefully. His dad also gave him a short hug, telling him that they'll be around if they need anything.

It was especially hard to say goodbye to Ren and Ran. Makoto leaned down a little bit to be level with them, though he dully noted that they've grown so much in the last few years that it won't be any time at all before he won't even have to lean down to their level. "You guys be good to mom and dad, okay? Do your chores because I won't be there to do them for you anymore." He told them with a slightly mischievous smile.

"We will, we promise." Ran said, also speaking for Ren. She hugged him tightly.

Makoto waited expectantly for Ren to say something, but the younger boy just looked down at his feet, eyebrows pulled together. "Ren...?" Makoto called out, tilting his head.

The boy winced when his name was called, reluctantly meeting his brother's gaze. "I'll miss you..." He mumbled quietly.

That nearly made Makoto's heart break. Ren tried to act so tough all the time that when he showed his true childlike vulnerability, it always destroyed Makoto as a big brother. "I'll miss you too, Ren." He initiated the hug and Ren returned it even tighter than Ran had. "I'll be around to visit, don't worry." He told him.

Ren sniffed as he stepped back, wiping his eyes. "Okay..." He said.

As the Tachibana's were saying their goodbyes, Haru also got a few words from his parents. They told him that they were proud of him and that they need to stay in touch more since they're in Tokyo a lot more than they were in Iwatobi. Haru agreed and hugged them both, feeling nostalgia from having his mother's small frame embrace him.

They waved out the door as the family gathered themselves up into the small car, shouting goodbyes from the windows before disappearing down the busy Tokyo streets.

Makoto and Haru retreated back into the apartment, closing the door and locking it behind them. With everyone gone it was a lot quieter and also comforting since it was just the two of them. Since it was already such a long day they barely had any time to appreciate the new space until they were ready for bed. Haru tried out the bathtub for the first time, greatly in need of a nice soak. It was much smaller than the one at home but, water was water, and it was satisfying nonetheless.

When he walked into their new bedroom, he saw Makoto already relaxing on the bed. The only furniture they had unpacked so far was their bedding, a small bedside table, and a tiny lamp that was the only source of light in the room. The window was open to let in the spring air and outside you could hear the occasional car honk and distant talking of pedestrians. It was a much different atmosphere than that of Iwatobi.

Haru had toweled off as much as he could before he crawled into bed next to his boyfriend, greatly amused when he realized that he probably had woken up the brunet from dozing off. "Haru..." Makoto called out, sleepily opening his eyes.

Haru smiled. "Go back to sleep." He said.

"No..." Makoto protested, moving to wrap an arm around him and pull him closer. "I want to enjoy this with you."

Haru's eyebrows pulled together in confusion. "Enjoy what?" He asked.

"This," Makoto motioned lazily with his other hand. "It's our new home, isn't that exciting?"

Haru glanced around the room, trying to piece it together. It didn't quite feel like home yet, especially with the bare walls that made their voices echo when they talked. He took a moment to try and imagine it as more lived in. Photos on the walls, maybe a small pile of laundry somewhere, or a cat dozing off at the end of the bed. Most of all it actually hit him that he was  _living_ with Makoto, something he never really thought would happen. Once that fact hit him it didn't take much to really think of it as home.

"It is exciting." He agreed.

Makoto smiled, moving to kiss Haru until they were both breathless.

\--

Haru and Makoto graduated from college in March of 2019.

It's probably more appropriate to say that Makoto properly graduated. Haru did technically finish all of the classes he had to do, but he was still involved in vigorous training for swimming for years to come. He was then one of Japan's top swimmers, though Rin still held the title. Haru felt as if Rin deserved it, anyway. Haru was a little too distracted by life to really have the competitive streak to push Rin off of his throne. Meanwhile, Makoto got his degree in primary education while also qualifying to be a swimming coach.

The weekend of their graduation was a busy and exciting one. Rei, Nagisa, and Rin all traveled to Tokyo to watch the brief ceremony and to cheer on their dear friends. Makoto's parents asked if he would like them to attend, but Makoto knew that he was going to spend time with his friends and go out to celebrate afterwards, so he politely said that he wouldn't mind if they stayed home. With that, the actual plans were made.

Because of Nagisa's uncanny way of persuading people, all five of them went out to drink after the ceremony. Makoto felt a warm sense of pride in his chest the whole day. Something about having an actual diploma and already having job interviews lined up in local Tokyo school districts left him feeling an immense sense of accomplishment. The adrenaline from finally being done led him to gladly agree to have a few drinks instead of Nagisa begging him to let loose like he usually had to.

They all sat in a circular booth at a local pub, drinking beer and eating bar food. They could barely go one drink without Nagisa insisting that they'd have to make another toast to Makoto and Haru's success (as well as Rin's, since he's accomplished so much in the same amount of time). They were all more than happy to oblige, all shouting "kanpai!" and clinking their glasses together. Even Haru was indulging himself, sipping on a couple mixed drinks since he didn't necessarily like the taste of beer. Most of all he just loved watching Makoto have a good time, laughing at Rin's stories and asking Nagisa and Rei about their college lives as well. They moved to Tokyo too not long ago, just in a different area that still required a bit of traveling if they wanted to get together for anything.

A couple hours and many drinks later, the group stumbled out onto the street, not wanting to part so soon. The only completely sober one among them was Rei, as he politely declined even a sip. He had to admit he was greatly amused watching everyone stutter excitedly over their words with red cheeks and loud laughs.

"I wish we didn't have to leave..." Nagisa said suddenly, pouting.

"We just need to meet up more often then, yeah? Who knows, maybe the next time we all get together it'll be for a wedding reception." He suggested, already grinning sneakily as he glanced over at Haru and Makoto.

"Wha-" Makoto's entire face burned red at the suggestion and he hid behind his hands. "Riiin..." He whined helplessly as he was put on the spot. Haru was rendered speechless at the comment as well, though it's easier for him to mask his embarrassment.

"Yes yes, oh my God, that'd be amazing!" Nagisa agreed, jumping up and down as he held onto Rei's arm.

Rei frowned at them. "You shouldn't put Makoto-senpai and Haruka-senpai on the spot like that, it's none of our business." He defended quickly.

"Tch," Rin put his hands in his pockets and glanced away. "I guess."

"Yeah, sorry..." Nagisa said.

"D-Don't be sorry," Makoto suddenly blurted out, grabbing the attention of the other four. "It's a nice thought..." He uttered, smiling softly as he looked down at his feet. The world was warm and hazy, especially when he thought about marrying Haruka Nanase, his boyfriend of six years. It made him so happy that he barely even felt embarrassed.

Hearing Makoto say that without any sense of shame left Haru dumbfounded. If Rin's comment wasn't enough to make him blush, now his whole face felt like it was on fire. He cleared his throat awkwardly, gently grabbing onto Makoto's arm. "We should probably head in for the night." He told them.

The others were suddenly brought back to the present, having no choice but to let Makoto's comment go for the time being. "Okay, Haru-chan, congrats once again!" Nagisa said, surging forward to give him and the drunk brunet the tightest hug.

Rei and Rin said the same as well, promising that they'll meet up again soon, whether or not it be for a wedding reception. Rei left with Nagisa and Rin left down a different street, since his place was in a different area. That left Makoto and Haru alone to navigate the streets of Tokyo that had become much more familiar in the few years that they lived there. While Haru did have a couple drinks, he was in a much better state than Makoto, who had to lean a decent amount of his weight on the smaller man to keep walking. They purposely picked a place close to home since they had a feeling this would happen, though Haru had no regrets whatsoever. It was refreshing to see the brunet let loose and have a good time after being so absorbed in his studying.

When the sidewalks were empty, Makoto would cheekily move to kiss Haru's cheek and jaw, smiling against the swimmer's skin when he'd glance around nervously to see if anyone was watching. "No one's around, it's okay." Makoto told him quietly, kissing his cheek again. This time, Haru gently leaned into Makoto's weight that had become more of an embrace.

They walked up the old stairs of their apartment building to their door and Makoto smiled to himself when he saw their names, Tachibana and Nanase, on their mailbox. It just felt so right. Haru unlocked the front door, pushing into their now well lived-in home. Somehow being an enclosed space really had Makoto more aware of how much he had to drink. They left their shoes by the step before walking in, wordlessly making their way towards their bedroom. On the way they passed their cat, Saba, who meowed loudly at them for pats. Of course they had to pause, both leaning down to stroke the small creatures back until she was satisfied and padded away.

Once in the bedroom, Makoto sat on the edge of the bed, absently looking around as Haru changed and got them both glasses of water from the kitchen. Unlike when they first moved in, there were many pictures and some posters scattered around the walls now, some of them even being Haru's art. They took lots of photos today and Makoto distantly wondered if there were any good ones they could get developed to join the others. He was also filled with a sense of pride that their diplomas could also be displayed as well.

"Makoto, aren't you going to change?" Haru asked him, sitting next to him on the bed.

Makoto met Haru's gaze, smiling warmly at him. Instead of answering his question, he gently wrapped an arm around Haru's waist to pull him closer. Haru's heartbeat sped up as he gladly scooted closer so that they were loosely cuddling on the bed. "Today was fun." He mumbled into the side of Makoto's neck, closing his eyes and taking in his comforting scent.

"Mm, I'm glad you had fun, Haru-chan." Makoto said.

"I'm glad you had fun, too. I don't get to see you relax like that often."

"I wasn't a complete idiot?" Makoto asked with a small laugh.

Haru shrugged one shoulder. "Not a _complete_ idiot."

"Hey...!" Makoto responded indignantly, though the two of them just laughed.

After a few seconds of silence, Haru swallowed nervously. "Makoto... did you really mean what you said earlier?" He muttered.

"What I said earlier...?" The other said. He knew exactly what Haru was referring to, but he didn't want to make it sound like that's all that he was thinking about all night. Actually, a lot longer than that, if he was honest with himself.

The comment backfired and Haru's voice was one of disappointment. "Nothing, nevermind...."

The sad voice startled Makoto and he backtracked. "You mean when I said it'd be nice to marry you?" He clarified.

Haru's hand clenched his shirt tightly and eventually he felt his head nod.

"Of course I meant it, Haru-chan." He said, completely serious. 

Haru adjusted so that he could finally see the brunet's face, watching his eyes for any sort of uncertainty. He was met with none, and that alone made him feel like he was going to explode with so many emotions, which was typically rare for him. Haru leaned up to kiss him. "I think it would be nice to marry you, too." He admitted.

The two of them laid down and drifted off, Makoto still in his clothes. It made for a confusing morning the next day and what they said wasn't really brought up again. Haru wasn't sure if Makoto would remember it and he was too afraid to ask. Makoto remembered it, though, and it was on his mind constantly.

\--

Makoto and Haru got engaged on July 25th, 2020.

It was summer break at the school Makoto worked at which meant they could take their own little vacation wherever they wanted. Makoto asked Haru where he wanted to go and no matter how far away it was, they'd make it work. Therefore when Haru immediately responded with "Iwatobi", it left him speechless for a second;

"You don't want to go overseas? America? Australia to visit Rin?"

Haru shrugged, looking down at his lap. "Iwatobi is my favorite place."

That made Makoto soften. Haru was such a simplistic person at times that it truly was admirable. "Okay, Iwatobi it is, then. We can go to the summer festival." Haru agreed that that would be fun and they started packing that next morning. 

Now, usually their trips to Iwatobi were uneventful, since they were mostly to visit Makoto's family and indulge in some nostalgia. This trip was going to be a little - well, actually, a lot - different.

Makoto planned on proposing to Haru during that trip.

That's why he was a little thrown off that the place he would properly propose would be in Iwatobi, though the more he thought about it, the more it made sense. It was where they grew up together, it was where they fell in love, it was home.

When they were packed, they left with their bags towards the train station, falling into step easily beside each other. Makoto had asked Haru a couple times if he wanted to move back to Iwatobi, but every time the black-haired boy shook his head. "I like Tokyo, too. Iwatobi is home away from home." He would say.

It felt weird to Makoto knowing that the engagement ring was buried deep in his bag, under his clothes. It was so hard to keep it away from Haru. The two of them were so close that it was hard to do anything that was slightly secretive since they were so open with each other. It was on Makoto's lunch break one day when he ventured out with an idea of what he wanted for them. Just two, simple, golden bands. He didn't spend a lot of money on them because he knew that that wasn't what mattered, it was just the idea of actually being united. The rings were just physical evidence.

Their arrival into Iwatobi felt more exciting than usual. Every time they visited they would get a room in a local hotel that was cozy and looked out over the ocean. As much as Makoto's parents wanted them to stay with them at the house, they've outgrown Makoto's old bedroom and prefer to have quiet nights to themselves. They checked into the hotel and unpacked some things, talking about when they planned to leave for the festival and if they should change or not. As Makoto was going through his bag for his clothes, he discreetly grabbed the velvet box and hid it in his wad of clothes between his shirt and pants. Fortunately, Haru was none-the-wiser, enjoying the sunshine on the hotel balcony. As Makoto was changing in the bathroom, he tucked away the small box deep into the pocket of his pants, making absolute sure there was no way it could accidentally fall out or be noticed by anyone. When he was satisfied, he left the bathroom. The sun was now setting over the horizon, painting the room in golds and pinks. Makoto watched affectionately as Haru's blue eyes reflected the orange light, content as he watched the water roll in and out in that hypnotic rhythm.

He hated to break such a calm moment, but part of him was just ready to get this night started. "Ready, Haru-chan?" He asked.

Haru turned around, walking back into the room and shutting the doors to the balcony. "Drop the -chan." He said with no real bite to it.

Makoto smiled and followed his boyfriend out the door.

By the time they got to the festival, the sun had mostly set and left the sky navy blue. Booths lined the streets, kids ran around in their kimonos and wooden shoes, and couples were joined arm-in-arm. It was as busy as ever. They did everything they usually do when they go to festivals: buy food, play games, prevent Haru from jumping into the goldfish pools, all those things that never get old. It wasn't long until they were stuffed, walking down the paths towards the shore to watch the fireworks.

Instead of finding a place on the grass, Makoto suggested they stay further back up on a hill where they have a slight height advantage. It was away from most people and those who did pass by were quickly gone as soon as they came, especially when the fireworks were about to start.

It was just Makoto and Haru, leaning against the wooden fence, their shoulders bumping occasionally as they waited in a comfortable silence.

Makoto knew that it would be now or never and he was so nervous that it was hard to breathe. He subtly put his hands in his pockets, feeling the ring still at the bottom. It was there, ready to be presented at any moment, he just had to _do_ it.

"H-Haru...?" He said, stuttering and voice wavering. Not a great start. He swallowed the huge lump in his throat.

"Hm?" The other responded, giving him his full attention.

 _This is it this is it this is it..._ Makoto's mind was just that phrase repeated over and over again in a mantra. He was sweating profusely despite the uncharacteristically chilly night. "Do you remember when we graduated last year? What I said about... us, that night?"

Haru's head tilted the slightest bit as he thought. "Yes, I remember..." As Haru watched Makoto try to breathe normally and think of his next words, the gears in his head slowly started to move. He could _feel_ the nervous energy the brunet was giving off and it made him stand more at attention, wondering why he would be bringing up that night that felt like so long ago.

"I said it would be nice being married to you," Makoto said, his fingers grabbing the small box in his pocket. He pulled it out smoothly so that it was now exposed to the night, exposed so that Haru could see. Time seemed to stand still. "I-I really meant that, and... I want that in our future. I want that for us." He opened the box, revealing the simple gold ring within the satin white interior. "Haruka Nanase... will you marry me?"

Haru's eyes widened substantially at the reveal, his mouth falling open. In front of him was the man he's spent his entire life with, the one he's trusted more than any other human on Earth. He was standing there, expectantly waiting for Haru to give an answer. Will he spend the rest of his life with Makoto Tachibana?

There was no need for that question because Haru would have already gone to the ends of the Earth for Makoto, but actually hearing the words "will you marry me?" made something inside him nearly burst with happiness. He realized that maybe he'd been shocked for just a little too long because Makoto's faux confident exterior began to crack as his hands started shaking.

"Y-Yes," He said, his own voice cracking from emotion. He tried again, "Yes, Makoto, I will marry you."

"Haru..." Makoto's shoulders dropped as all the tension abruptly left him. In the moon and starlight Haru saw the glassiness of the brunet's eyes as he removed the ring from the box, grabbing Haru's left hand. He slid it onto his ring finger smoothly. A perfect fit.

The cool metal on his finger felt like it always belonged there. Haru stood on his toes, leaning up to kiss Makoto lovingly. However, Haru had to pull away so he could gently wipe away some tears that rolled down Makoto's cheeks. "Why are you crying?" He asked.

Makoto hugged him tightly, burying his face into Haru's shoulder. "I just... I'm just so happy." He hiccuped.

"Hey, Makoto?" Haru said and had Makoto step back to look at him. "I actually have something to show you, too."

Makoto raised his eyebrows curiously. "Oh...?" 

Haru's hand disappeared into his own pocket, bringing out a small, velvet box nearly identical to Makoto's. His mouth dropped open, unable to form any words as Haru opened it, revealing another engagement ring. "Wh-What...? When - how did? How long have you had that?" He wanted to ask a million questions at once. 

"I've been keeping it on me for a couple months now." The shorter admitted bashfully. "I had been waiting for the right time to do it but you kind of beat me to it." 

Makoto laughed at that, genuinely amazed at the turn of events. He let Haru bring his hand up so that he could slide the ring onto his own left finger. "I feel like I should be more shocked than I am, but... in a way this I kind of expected this. It's totally something you would do." 

Haru snickered at that and Makoto laughed once again. They loosely held hands as the fireworks show started and Haru rested his head on Makotos shoulder, wishing he could live in that moment forever.

 

\--

Makoto got hit by a car on September 2nd, 2020.

That day was a blur, really. Any time the events tried to be recollected it was almost like everything else disappeared except for a few key moments.

First, Makoto announced that he was going out to get a few groceries.

It was nothing out of the ordinary, really. It had been a lazy Sunday and they enjoyed their time in together. However the lack of food in the apartment was starting to get really noticeable and it was better to get their things on the weekend rather than in the middle of the week while they were trying to train and work.

Haru nodded, asking him to pick up some extra mackerel while he was there. That made Makoto laugh and he promised he would, grabbing his keys off of the counter and announcing that he would be back within an hour or so.

Then, it was the phone call.

It had been two hours since Makoto left for the store. It wasn't the first time that an outing had taken longer than promised, but all the same it made Haru a little nervous. It was completely dark outside and Haru checked his watch every couple minutes, fidgeting nervously where he sat. From the window of the apartment, he heard the alarmingly close sound of a siren. This was nothing out of the ordinary for Tokyo, but that combined with Makoto's tardiness had his heart racing.

Haru shoved on his shoes and grabbed his own keys, swiftly leaving the apartment. He didn't even bother locking it, too busy pulling his phone out of his pocket and speed-dialing the brunet. It rang without an answer and took him to voicemail.

Haru's legs moved faster, now jogging down the sidewalks as he redialed the number. Each time it rang out and sent him to voicemail. His heart felt like it was in his throat as he was nearly in a full-on sprint. He didn't even have time to apologize when he would bump into other pedestrians, even if they did glare or complain out loud. The only thing Haru could think was _'Get to the store, NOW'_. It wasn't even guaranteed that Makoto would be there. He could hear the sound of the ambulance siren grow fainter.

In the split second he took his phone down from his ear to redial Makoto's number, he gets an incoming call. He comes to a screeching halt, breathing heavily from running. It was from and unknown number and he answered even before it was done with the first ring. "Hello?" He said into the receiver.

"Is this Haruka Nanase?" A man asked in a gruff voice.

His throat tightened. "Yes."

"You were listed as an emergency contact in Makoto Tachibana's cellphone. He was just struck by a car at an intersection and is being taken to the nearest hospital. He's in critical condition and will be admitted into urgent care."

Haru's blood ran cold in his veins.

\--

Haru thanked every single training session he ever had that day as he sprinted non-stop to the hospital mentioned in the phone call. It was odd how his legs felt like complete jelly and yet he probably ran the fastest he'd ever had in his life. His lungs burned from the exertion as he pressed on, needing to know if Makoto was okay as soon as possible.

He reached the entrance of the emergency wing of the large building, bursting through the doors with an alarming sound. It was pretty empty, thankfully, because there was no way Haru was going to be able to contain himself when he confronted the woman behind the counter. She looked up at him, startled.

It took Haru a second to be able to say anything because he was trying to catch his breath. "I-I'm Haruka Nanase," He started, "I'm here for Makoto Tachibana. What room is he in? What's his condition?"

The woman's eyebrows pulled together in worry as she looked up the name. "Tachibana-san has just been admitted to urgent care and is in critical condition. Are you an immediate family member, Nanase-san?" She asked.

"I'm his fiancé." He said with no hesitation. He was all too aware of the ring on his finger as he had a death grip on the edge of the counter.

"Do you have a same-sex partnership certificate?" She asked.

Haru's eyebrows furrowed together, barely even able to process what she was asking him. "A what?"

"A same-sex partnership certificate is required if you want to go back and see Tachibana-san. This ward of Tokyo doesn't have them implemented just yet, but if you have a form from a different ward we will accept it." As she said this, her kind eyes seemed genuinely concerned, as if she was desperately hoping that he did.

"P-Please, I just need to see him, I SAID I was his fiancé." He repeated, voice raising in octave in his desperation.

The woman sighed softly. "I'm sorry Nanase-san, it's the law. If you do not have a certificate then I can't let you in."

A feeling of anger began to boil up in Haru's chest and he had the sudden urge to just... _hit_ something. How could they have forgotten to get a form signed after they got engaged?! When they got back they were just so caught up in their work and training that it was momentarily forgotten. Of course they would have never thought anything like this would happen and yet Haru hated himself for not being more insistent about documentation. He knew it wasn't the receptionists fault, it was their shitty planning and the intolerance of Japan, really. "Will you at least keep me updated on what happens, good or bad?" He asked.

She nodded. "I'll give you any sort update I can whenever possible."

He muttered out the weakest thank you before he went to take a seat, pulling out his phone once again and searching through his limited contacts until he found the number he was looking for. The few people who were there watched him wearily after witnessing the interaction.

Haru bobbed his leg up and down as the phone rang, though thankfully he wasn't left in suspense for long before they picked up on the second ring. "Haru?" A small, panicked voice came through.

"Mrs. Tachibana," He breathed, "The hospital said they contacted you, are you on your way?" He asked.

"I'm about an hour out, I left as soon as they called. Have you gone back to see him? How is he?" She asked desperately, the tears obvious in her voice.

Haru squeezed his eyes shut in frustration. "They won't let me back to see him."

"What? Why? Did you say that you're his fiancé?"

Haru cradled the phone between his ear and shoulder as he played with the ring on this finger. It was comforting to acknowledge it was there, for some reason. "We never signed a certificate so I'm not allowed to go back." His voice cracked on the last word as his eyes stung with the threat of tears again.

"That's awful..." She breathed, "Just hang in a little longer until I get there, okay?"

Haru told her he would and then the line disconnected, leaving him alone once more. Now Haru had never been nervous in hospitals his whole life, but that changed that night. Minutes felt like hours, hours felt like days, he was overwhelmed with anxiety. He continued to pace the floor, asking the receptionist about every ten minutes if there was any update on Makoto's condition. Each time he was told the same thing, which only made matters worse.

\--

The last thing of that day he remembers vividly is hearing Mrs. Tachibana pass on the news of what happened to Makoto.

She arrived even sooner than she promised over the phone, however, she didn't stop to talk to him for long. She gave him a short hug and asked if he was okay before being escorted to the room her son was in, having no issue whatsoever since she was his mother. He understood and yet it still made him even more frustrated. Haru had been waiting, and waiting, and waiting for at least another hour before she emerged from the labyrinth of hallways.

It was obvious that she had been crying even more and Haru jumped up to his feet, meeting her with a hug as she hiccuped into his shoulder. He wasn't much for a lot of physical contact, especially when he feels upset, but he understood that other people coped differently than him so he was there to give Mrs. Tachibana his support.

After taking a second to collect herself, she stepped back, wiping her already red eyes again. "H-He really hasn't taken a turn for the worse, but things aren't getting better, either." She said weakly. Haru's chest tightened. "There's a lot of damage even though the truck wasn't going full speed. H-His worst injuries are a few broken ribs and collarbone. Other than that he has a concussion from hitting the ground and bruised hips... They're not sure if they're fractured yet. Either way they have to keep a close eye on him." She swallowed and wiped her eyes for the hundredth time. "The most dangerous thing they're looking out for right now is internal bleeding... i-if that happens th-then-" She can't even finish the sentence before tears stream down her face again.

She didn't have to explain, Haru understood what she was trying to say. Seeing Makoto's mother reduced to a sobbing mess was almost too much to bear. He'd only known her as a gentle yet strong person his entire life. The only time he'd even seen her with a hint of a tear in her eye was when they graduated high school.

They were definitely in for a long night.

\--

The next morning, the doctor announced that Makoto was out of critical condition and had been moved to a recovery room.

By the time that happened, the group of people in the waiting room waiting was over double. Not only had the whole Tachibana family finally arrived, but Rei and Nagisa had also dropped by too. They even had Rin on an occasional Skype call to keep him updated when he heard. Haru was too torn up to make the call to them so Mrs. Tachibana did it for him. It made him feel guilty, like he was weak. He felt like he should have been the strong one, that it was his responsibility to pass along the news to their friends. Mrs. Tachibana was at risk of losing her own son and still Haru couldn't step up and do something for her. He regretted it immensely. He was afraid that if he were to try and utter a word about Makoto to anyone he'd completely break down.

When they were told that Makoto was in stable condition, they were finally allowed back to see him. The doctor made it clear that he wasn't completely out of the woods yet and that he was going to be resting for awhile.

When they filed into the room, Haru's chest tightened painfully at the sight of his fiancé. There wasn't much to him other than bandages and wires... wires everywhere. The worst part, though, was his face. There was a bandage wrapped around his head and there were many other places that were a deep purple from being bruised. It was an awful sight. Everyone else must have been thinking the same thing because the room was dead silent other than the sound of the heart monitor next to Makoto's bed.

They all settled in for undetermined amount of time. It was about an hour later before Nagisa was the first one to say anything. "I was thinking that Rei-chan and I could go to a nearby corner store and get some things... like a "get well" card or something? I don't know, I think Mako-chan would like that..." He said quietly, which was very uncharacteristic of him. Sometimes Haru could be surprised at the ways Nagisa adapted to his surroundings.

Mrs. Tachibana smiled tiredly at him. "That would be nice." She said.

Nagisa relaxed when his suggestion was received well. Him and Rei stood, saying a brief goodbye before they left the room. Just a few minutes after that, Mrs. Tachibana spoke as well. "I think it would be best to go get some food ourselves."

Next to her, Ren frowned. "But he hasn't woken up yet." He said.

"I know, but he may not for awhile... We still need to take care of ourselves. He's in stable condition so things are going to be okay." She assured her son, "We won't be gone long."

Reluctantly, Ren nodded, though it still seemed like he wasn't too fond of the idea. The family rose to their feet, shuffling towards the door groggily. Mrs. Tachibana stopped right before she left, watching Haru carefully. "Haru, would you like to come with us? You look exhausted..." She commented, voice soft and hesitant as to not stir him too much.

Haru nearly laughed at the statement, if he was even capable of it. He was exhausted, hungry, thirsty, everything. Though it would take someone removing him by force to leave Makoto's side until he woke up. "I'm okay." He lied.

She frowned, seeing right through him. Unfortunately she knew how stubborn he could be. "We'll bring you something back then, okay? Try getting some sleep." She told him before finally leaving, closing the door behind them.

Since everyone was gone except Haru, it felt like he finally had a private moment with Makoto, even if he was still unconscious. No matter how close he was with Makoto's family and their friends, he always froze up when others were around. It may have been selfish but all Haru wanted was to be alone with him and it felt so relieving when he finally got that. That way he could really mentally process what was happening without the fear of them noticing and worrying about him, too. The whole thing was already taxing on everyone and he didn't need to contribute to that.

Haru pulled the chair he was sitting on closer so that it was right next to the edge of the bed. He brought one of his own hands to hold onto Makoto's as gently as he could. His fingers were cold. Even though the other wasn't aware of what he was doing, it still made Haru feel like he was comforting him, in a way. He watched as Makoto's chest rose and fell with the rhythm of his breathing. It was mesmerizing to him because it was a sure sign that he was still alive, that his heart was still breathing.

Unable to keep himself up any longer, Haru laid his head down gingerly on the hospital bed, his hand still loosely gripped onto Makoto's. It only took a few seconds before he fell into an uneasy sleep.

\--

The first thing Makoto became aware of is just how _sore_ he felt. Even though he had maybe been conscious for a few minutes, it took so long to even be able to open his eyes. When he did, though, he had to squint against the sunlight and blinding white surroundings of the hospital room. Slowly but surely, his other senses caught up with him. His head hurt and he was really thirsty.

Then, he felt the warmth on his left hand and realized the dip in the bed where someone was resting their head. The dark black hair was delicately fanned out on the sheets and across his face as he slept.

The weakest smile formed on Makoto's face as his fingers went to intertwine with Haru's. The small amount of movement was enough to stir him out of sleep and his eyes fluttered open. It took a second for his mind to begin processing the situation and, when it did, he lifted up his head and met Makoto's gaze. The brunet was still smiling at him. "Good morning, Haru-chan." He said, his voice meek. It kind of hurt to talk, too.

"Makoto...!" Haru was at full attention immediately, sitting up properly in his chair. "How do you feel?"

"Um..." He thought of the right words to describe it. "Not great." He settled on.

Haru sighed because he could've easily come to that conclusion himself. "Do you need anything?" He clarified.

"I'm pretty thirsty." He said, trying to swallow down the gravelly feeling in his throat.

"I'll go get a nurse." Haru declared, about to get up from his seat.

He was stopped when Makoto's grip on his hand tightened slightly. "N-No, stay."

Haru's was instantly weak at the knees with the request. "... Okay, I'll stay. But I'm still going to get someone soon." He compromised.

Makoto was satisfied with that. Getting a good look at his fiancé now, his eyebrows furrowed together in concern. The bags under his eyes were dark and prominent and he looked exhausted to his very bones. It probably would benefit him to take a shower as well. "Haru..." He called out, lifting up his arm so that his hand was now cradling Haru's cheek. He tried not to wince when he moved because it was painful. "You look tired, please get some sleep."

Affection welled up in Haru's chest at his concerned words. It almost made him laugh, really. Typical Makoto, always worried about everyone else but himself. It's like he hadn't even realized he was one step away from death mere hours ago. The fact that even then, after a terribly traumatic experience, he was worried about _Haru_ said a lot. In a way it was comforting to know he was still the same. Haru shut his eyes and leaned into Makoto's hand, letting the warmth of it tell him that he was truly there with him. "I'm fine, Makoto..." He remembered to answer, his voice quivering involuntarily.

Makoto wasn't convinced, still frowning. "Is everything okay?" He asked, not missing the pained look in the other's eyes.

"Makoto," Haru began, moving Makoto's hand so that he was holding it again. "I nearly lost you less than twelve hours ago. I-I was so scared..." He admitted and he felt extremely vulnerable saying it. He swallowed thickly and sniffed. The next time he blinked, tears finally spilled over and rolled down his cheeks, meeting beneath his chin. It was the first time he cried since the whole thing began.

Seeing Haru so sad made Makoto want to cry too. "Shh, it's okay..." He squeezed his hand, "I'm here now, so everything's going to be okay."

Haru sniffed again and wiped away the remaining tears from his face. He nodded, truly agreeing with that simple statement.

\--

Makoto was released from the hospital on September 11th, 2020.

When they got the news, everyone was overjoyed. The weeks leading up that definitely were not easy. For the first few days there were a lot of visitors for the brunet. The Tachibana family were almost as much of a constant presence as Haru was. There were a few times when Mrs. Tachibana had to practically chase Haru out of the hospital so that he would go home to shower, sleep, and take care of Saba. Rei and Nagisa helped a lot in that aspect as well. In fact, they did a lot for Haru and Makoto in regards to taking care of their apartment for the first few days. Haru definitely owed them a huge favor, no matter how much they insisted they didn't need anything.

Unfortunately, though, life didn't stand still during Makoto's recovery. The brunet finally had to call into work and update them on the situation. Of course he was excused, though he seemed sad he wouldn't be able to see some of his students for awhile as he healed. Anyone could tell that Makoto loved his job and would be at work right then if they'd let him.

Haru also updated his coach of the situation and why he hadn't been at practice. However, about the third day Makoto was in the hospital, his family also had to go back home to resume school and work. It made them all nervous, but they trusted Haru to give them adequate updates on whatever happened. The black-haired boy also resumed his training during the day, especially since Makoto would usually just sleep and try and rest up the best he could.

When Makoto was told he could go home, it didn't come without a laundry list of precautions he had to take to assure that he would recover properly. They told him what movements he should avoid and what to do every once in awhile to keep his muscles working, mostly referring to his broken ribs and clavicle. He and Haru listened attentively, promising to do everything.

Makoto's amount of mobility was very limited and the transition of moving back home was difficult. He couldn't move his arms up further than his shoulders because of his broken collarbone and pretty much anything else he could do was also restricted due to broken ribs. He was very lucky that he could walk without much help, though. It still hurt because of his bruised hips but it could've been worse.

Makoto breathed a sigh of relief when they walked through the front door of their apartment. "I didn't realize how much I missed this until now."

Haru nodded, dropping off Makoto's things from the hospital by the front entrance for now. "Is everything okay?" He asked.

"Um, I'm pretty winded from the walking, but I don't hurt any more than I normally would... except for maybe this nagging headache." He mentioned off-handedly and tried to laugh a little to lighten the mood. That was effectively stopped when a sharp pain shot through his upper body. He winced, standing completely still for a second until it passed.

Haru watched him with concern, placing one hand on Makoto's back and the other loosely holding his arm. "Don't strain yourself." Makoto let Haru lead him to their bedroom. The black-haired boy already had a myriad of pillows and other soft things set up on the headboard for his fiancé. The doctor mentioned that he'd have to sleep sitting up for awhile and to try and make him as comfortable as possible. Eventually the brunet got settled in with some trial and error, meaning a couple winces here and there. He sighed, leaning his head back against the bed frame. "Jeez, just getting back from the hospital left me winded."

Haru was already bringing him things (like books, his phone, water, some snacks, etc.) and nodded. "That was probably all the exercise you needed for the day."

"Yeah..." He looked down at his lap. "I'm not used to doing nothing for so long, it's kind of frustrating."

Haru frowned, sympathizing with Makoto. He wished he could just make his pain go away. "I was going to make us some food, what did you want?" He offered.

Makoto doesn't answer right away. "A-Actually, Haru..." The other could see his cheeks turn red before he could even get out what he wanted to say. "Will you lay in bed with me for awhile? I've missed you..."

Haru's expression softened into a smile. It's amazing how they've been together for seven years and the brunet still has a hard time asking such small things from Haru. "That sounds nice." Haru said, walking around to the other side of the bed. He came to sit next to Makoto, something he'd wanted to do for over a week now. As he settled in, it also felt like it was the first time he'd been able to just sit and enjoy a minute of quiet. It was too bad that he couldn't completely lean his weight against the brunet as to not hurt him. Makoto scooted himself down slightly so that he wasn't much taller than Haru before resting his head on his shoulder. He made sure to not move too fast so he didn't hurt himself. Haru rested his own head on top of Makoto's as well, appreciating his soft hair and the smell of hospital soap.

Saba jumped up on their bed a few seconds later, meowing quietly as she stepped softly towards them. Makoto smiled wide upon seeing her. "Saba, c'mere." He cooed, holding his hand out for her. She sniffed him a couple times before coming to settle down on his lap. He began stroking her soft fur and she started purring loudly.

"I think she missed you." Haru said.

"I missed her too... though I just missed home in general."

"I missed you being home."

Wordlessly, Makoto reached out that with the hand that wasn't petting Saba to hold Haru's. They enjoyed a lazy afternoon of laying in bed and taking turns napping.

\--

Haru first saw the extent of Makoto's injuries on September 13th, 2020.

Their daily lives were difficult, but it was manageable. Makoto didn't move very often, his ribs really giving him a lot of issues. One time he sneezed and and nearly cried out in pain. It wasn't starting out as a smooth recovery. The worst, though, was when Haru had to leave for training and races. He hated leaving the brunet alone, it made him nervous. It didn't matter how much he wanted to stay, Makoto would drive him out by insisting that he'd be okay. And he was, for the most part.

Makoto's was aware of it ever since he woke up in the hospital bed. He had a constant, terrible headache almost 24/7. The painkillers he was given for everything else just didn't seem to touch it. Sometimes it would get to the point where all he wanted to do was sit with his eyes closed, not even able to think about moving. He would mention it every once in awhile to Haru when he asked him how he was, but he already felt so bad about the other taking care of him that he kept quiet most of the time.

A couple days after being home, it was time for him to take a shower. So far he'd been keeping himself clean with damp towels and dry shampoo to not strain himself, though there eventually came a point where he was craving a nice shower more than anything. He hoped that maybe that would help his headache go away, too. Haru joined him, just to help with things like washing his hair thoroughly since he couldn't lift his arms up very high for too long.

They walked into their bathroom and shut the door behind them. Haru turned on the water as Makoto began his slow process of undressing. While it was a learning curve, he was getting much better at knowing what specific movements would trigger pain and others that were okay. Keeping that in mind, he tucked his arms into the sleeves of his T-shirt and then gently pulled it so it would slide over his head and completely off.

What he hadn't realized was that this was the first time Haru was seeing the injuries the accident left behind.

The other knew it would be bad because, obviously, it had to be, but he didn't mentally prepare himself enough. His eyes widened and his mouth dropped open upon seeing Makoto's torso. Splotches of dark blue and purple covered the entirety of his chest, rib cage, shoulders, back, and even disappearing into the waistband of his pants. There were also long and angry scars from where the impact had cut open his skin. Most of them were turning a healthy pink while other were still scabbed in some places since it was still early in the healing process.

When Haru realized he had been staring, he tried to quickly close his mouth and look up at Makoto's face instead of gawking at his body. It was too late, though, Makoto was looking off to the side awkwardly. "I-I know, it's... it's really bad." He said, biting his lip as if he was ashamed.

Haru frowned and stepped forward so they were closer. "I didn't mean to have that reaction, it just... surprised me. I don't know why it did, but..." He trailed off, his chest aching from guilt.

Makoto swallowed. "Yeah, it's pretty hideous." He tried to joke, though the tone didn't make it sound like one. It sounded like he genuinely believed that statement.

Haru shook his head. "No, Makoto, it's not. Nothing about you could ever be hideous." He said with no hesitation. His blue eyes watched Makoto intensely to get across that he really meant it.

Eventually, the taller of the two sighed and turned his head to face Haru once again. "If you say so..."

"I do say so." He responded, elevating himself up so that their faces were closer to each other. He paused, waiting for Makoto to make a move as to not overstep a boundary. After a second the other leaned forward, resting their foreheads together gently as a way to portray a sense of appreciation for Haru’s words without saying anything.

\--

Makoto's headaches weren't getting any better.

It had been a few weeks since they left the hospital and while everything else seemed to be making a steady recovery, the brunet felt constantly exhausted and almost nauseous from how bad his head hurt. He was to the point where he could basically do all his daily tasks without much help, even if he was still primarily on bed rest, and he just didn't want to admit to his fiancé that something was still wrong or else he'd go back to being dependent again. Makoto didn't like being a burden, he wanted Haru to live his own life without constantly fretting over him. He wanted Haru to go train, to swim, to do what he loved. In a way he was grateful when the other would leave the house because it felt like he didn't have to put up a facade anymore. He'd sit in bed, head leaned back against the frame with his eyes squeezed shut, just willing the awful pain to go away. He was probably taking too many painkillers because of his desperation to get rid of it.

What he forgot to take into account is that Haru wasn't stupid, and he definitely knew something was wrong.

It'd be in the little things, like the way Makoto would move or how when he thought when Haru wasn't watching, he'd wince in pain for a second, as if he was trying to fight something off. Every time he'd ask if he was alright and he'd always just get a smile and a confirmation that everything was okay. It really infuriated him sometimes.

The worst offender was when Makoto nearly fainted from just getting up off the couch.

They were sitting in the living room in comfortable silence, Haru on his laptop and Makoto channel surfing. Haru happened to glance at the clock, noting that it was almost dinner time. "I'm going to give Saba her food." He announced, about to put his laptop aside.

Makoto perked up at the suggestion. "No it's okay, I'll do it." He said, setting the remote down.

Haru watched him wearily as he leaned back into the sofa.

In his eagerness to help out, Makoto stood up way too fast, which always ended up being bad news. It was different than a typical dizzy spell someone would get. His vision didn't just get fuzzy for a second, he full-on blacked out. He felt weightless for a second as his vision faded and then, suddenly, he was back, barely just managing to catch himself on the arm of the couch before he tumbled completely to the ground. The impact of catching himself also made pain shoot through his upper chest where he still wasn't completely healed. He made a pained noise, distantly aware that someone was saying something to him.

"... koto...! Makoto!"

He suddenly snapped back into reality when Haru was next to him and touching his shoulder, desperately calling his name. "Makoto! Are you alright?!"

Makoto grit his teeth together, trying to adjust himself so he was sitting back down properly. "I-I'm fine, Haru, it was just a dizzy spell." He lied.

"Bullshit," Haru said bluntly, helping him sit back down with gentle hands. "You just passed out, what happened?"

Makoto didn't answer, avoiding Haru's imploring gaze.

Haru sighed out through his nose in frustration. "Makoto, why won't you talk to me?"

That caught the other's attention and he looked at him, startled. "What?"

"I know you haven't been feeling well and yet you won't say anything, why?"

"I just..." He sighed, "I'm tired of being a burden. It's really nothing, it's just been some headaches. It could be from a ton of things, they'll go away eventually."

"You're not a burden," Haru clarified, not letting that statement slip by. "I want to help you, Makoto... But I can't help you if you won't let me. This healing process is only temporary."

Makoto doesn't answer.

"Will you let me take you to the hospital?" Haru asked.

"No...!" Makoto answered instantly, almost angrily. It startled Haru so much that he backed off a little. He doesn't think he'd ever heard Makoto raise his voice at him, other than that one argument in high school. The brunet must have realized he'd done that because he instantly felt guilty afterwards. "N-No, I don't _need_ to go to the hospital." He said in a softer voice.

Haru stared at him in a state of utter shock and confusion. Why was he being so stubborn? They both knew something was wrong, they _knew_. Why couldn't he just swallow his frustrations and ask for help? "... If these headaches don't get any better in a week, do you promise to go see a doctor?" Haru asked meekly, feeling defeated. If he could at least get an agreement for this, he'd be satisfied.

It took a second for Makoto to think it over until he nodded in agreement. His demeanor softened as he realized just how worried Haru actually was. "... I'm sorry, Haru." He said, swallowing thickly when he felt himself start to cry.

The tension in Haru's shoulders dropped upon hearing the quiver in his lover's voice. The atmosphere from before was replaced with something much different in a short amount of time, giving him a weird sense of whiplash. "Makoto..." He whispered, watching helplessly as the other broke down.

"I didn't mean to yell at you, I-I know you're just trying to help. I just hate this so much." He hiccuped involuntarily, quickly wiping his eyes with the backs of his hands before the tears could stream down his cheeks.

Haru moved so that he was sitting next to Makoto on the couch again, wrapping his arms around his broad frame in a loose embrace. "It's okay, Makoto..." He felt himself welling up with emotion too when the brunet buried his head in the crook of Haru's neck, trying to hide himself away. Despite being bigger than him, Makoto seemed so small and vulnerable in that moment. Makoto wasn't a stoic man by any means, but he held himself together pretty well, and yet somehow it just cracked that day. All Haru could really do was be there for him, to hold him and run his fingers through his olive brown hair.

Eventually, he was soothed to the point where he wasn't crying anymore and he lifted his head up from Haru's shoulders, eyes and cheeks red. "How did I get so lucky to have you?" He said followed by a short, breathy laugh.

Haru's eyebrows shot up. "If anything I should be the one saying that." He fired back quickly. There was a split second where a seed of doubt crossed Makoto's face and Haru was simply having none of it that day. He leaned forward so that their foreheads were touching. "I love you, Makoto." He said tenderly, as if saying it too loud would lose its impact.

That rendered Makoto speechless for a few seconds. One of his hands reached out to intertwine with Haru's and he could feel the engagement ring which only elevated his sense of adoration in that moment. "I love you too, Haru-chan." He said.

Haru's eyebrow twitched. "Drop the -chan."

Makoto laughed again. "You've been saying that since we were kids. It's not happening."

Haru hummed, not even feeling bothered enough to react with any sort of annoyance to that. He'll never admit it out loud, but he'd always found the nickname endearing. While it did remind him of Nagisa, it was something that Makoto had been saying as long as he can remember. It felt weirdly special to them. As much as he was enjoying that moment, he just couldn't ignore what had happened earlier. "Promise to see the doctor in a week?" He asked again.

Makoto nodded. "Yes, I promise." He said, squeezing Haru's hand fondly for emphasis.

Haru smiled for the first time in weeks due to the sheer relief. "Thank you." He said. Makoto leaned in to kiss him. It reminded Haru of their first kiss, nothing but a soft bit of pressure that still somehow felt so perfect and right. For a second things felt normal, like it was all going to be okay.

\--

Makoto Tachibana died at 3:47am on November 3rd, 2020.

It happened four days after they had talked in the living room. Just two weeks before his 24th birthday.

Makoto woke up in the middle of the night, feeling as if his head was being physically split in half. With eyes unfocused and breathing heavy, he threw of the covers off himself as he desperately stumbled onto his feet towards the door. His fringe was pulled tightly in his fist as he tried to ground himself in reality, bumping into doorways and walls as he approached their bathroom. The commotion had woken up Haru, who bolted upright in confusion. “Makoto...?” He called out, going to follow the sound of the other's footsteps into their bathroom. Haru’s stomach dropped and his blood ran cold when he heard Makoto retch into the toilet, vomiting violently because of the sheer nauseousness caused by his aching head. By the time he sprinted into the bathroom and turned on the lights, Makoto was collapsing backwards onto the tiled floor, eyes glazed over and his chest heaved, almost as if he couldn’t get enough air in his lungs. Haru already had the police on the phone, begging for an ambulance as he fell onto his knees, picking up Makoto’s head and resting it on his lap. The ten minutes it took for help to arrive felt like eons. All he could do was try to calm down Makoto who just groaned in pain, grasping onto his hand with an iron grip. Haru felt helpless, he felt overwhelmed with the overpowering desperation of trying to make sure the other didn’t slip into unconsciousness.

When the ambulance arrived and Makoto was transported to the hospital, it was almost uncanny how much it felt like that night just a few weeks ago. He was admitted into urgent care but unlike before when it was hours until Haru found out the news, it was only mere moments.

Makoto had sudden internal bleeding in his brain that led to his death only minutes after arriving.

Haru's entire world shattered.

\--

The week to follow was filled with far too many people and words. It was excruciating.

Haru attended the wake and the funeral that took place only a few days after Makoto's death. They were both held in Iwatobi and Haru stayed at his old house in between the ceremonies. Getting himself presentable enough to appear in front of Makoto''s family felt impossible. It was only made worse by the fact that even though Haru and Makoto were engaged, they didn't get officially married before he died, and it almost seemed as if the side of Makoto's family that weren't his siblings and parents didn't understand the sheer amount of grieving he was going through. He understood that it could have never amounted up to what his immediate family was feeling, but he didn't like being an afterthought either.

The funeral was slightly better than the wake, only because their close friends had come to pay their respects and give condolences. While Haru didn't speak to them, knowing that Rei, Nagisa, and even Rin (who had flown back from Australia) were there was weirdly comforting. Better than being surrounded by strangers. He didn't miss the pained glances from them, though, and the intensity they were giving off to want to speak to him and comfort him. It made him feel worse that he didn't feel like talking to them.

As the funeral drew to a close and people began leaving, Haru felt completely numb as he wondered where he should go, since he couldn't go home right away. For the first time in his life he wished he was anywhere else but Iwatobi. Hearing the rolling waves and smelling the salty air only brought back memories of childhood.

"Haru..." Someone called to him from behind. He turned, seeing Rin there. It was obvious that he had been crying, eyes red and puffy. He made sure to keep himself together to face Haru, "Um..." He put his hands in the pockets of his suit nervously. "When you go back to Tokyo and need... somewhere else to stay... You're more than welcome at my place. I'll be in Japan for awhile, anyway." He offered quietly.

Haru thought about his apartment back in Tokyo, how empty it would be there. Honestly just the mere suggestion of going back there made him sick to his stomach. He swallowed and nodded, eyes downcast. "... okay." He agreed.

The redhead sighed, rubbing the back of his head at the thick silence that followed. "Just let me know when you're ready to come over. I'll always have my phone on me."

Once again all Haru could do was nod. With that, Rin said a quiet goodbye, walking away with the rest of the crowd and he was alone once more. Still having no idea what his plan was, he just began walking down the old sidewalks. Every time he thought about stopping somewhere, it would remind him of something they'd done together in high school. Something they'd done together as kids. Something they'd done together during the summer. He just had to keep walking until his feet hurt in his rarely worn dress shoes.

Eventually he reached a cluster of businesses on the outskirts of town, a place he'd rarely been. On a street corner was a tiny, family owned coffee shop. It was pretty empty due to the time of day and its poor location. He walked in, dully noting typical cafe decor as he took a seat at a booth by the window. A waitress gave him a menu and asked him to take his time ordering in the quietest voice before she walked away. She could probably sense the despair radiating off of him. Haru didn't open the menu and he didn't order anything. He sat, staring out the window as the occasional person and car passed by outside. It even started to rain, making his motivation to go home dwindle even more than before.

Every few minutes he would feel his phone vibrate in his pocket and not once did he bring it out to check it. He just continued to stare. Continued to dissociate.

"Sir..." A voice said to him. He blinked for the first time in probably minutes, moving his head to see his waitress. "We're closing in five minutes..." She said hesitantly, unsure of how he was going to react.

Haru stared, confused. Had it really been hours since he walked in? Over those last few days it felt like he was having a lot of instances like that. Sometimes he would swear it had been a whole day and twenty minutes had gone by, or the opposite. He only acknowledged her by scooting out of the booth, rising shakily to his feet as he left through the front door, the bell jingling as he left. Now he was caught in the pouring rain, the water dampening his nice suit. He couldn't care less. He was tired of wearing the damned thing, anyway.

He dragged his feet as he walked home, the houses and businesses slowly getting more and more familiar. He walked up an all too familiar staircase until his house came into view, dark and unoccupied. He used his key to get in, shutting the door behind him. He stood in the threshold, letting the rain drip down from his hair and clothes. He was so cold and the water on his skin made him shiver to the point where his teeth chattered. That was probably the first time he'd ever hated water in his entire life.

He trudged up the stairs to his old bedroom, shutting himself away from the rest of the house. His back slid down the door as he sat down in a miserable puddle, loosely wrapping his arms around his knees. It was nearly dark outside, but there was still just enough light to illuminate the forgotten home. Thankfully he had moved pretty much everything he owned to Tokyo, the only things left being a few posters and some spare bedding for when he was in Iwatobi for whatever reason.

As he sat and stared, there was a second when he thought to get up and get a towel, to dry himself off. He thought about how Makoto would lightly scold him with a laugh behind his voice, tell him that that no matter how much he loved water he couldn't be wet forever. In the end he'd bring him a towel himself, offering it to Haru with a smile. He'd say something like _"I don't want you catching a cold, Haru-chan"_ in his affectionate voice.

Haru's body suddenly jolted with a sob, tears cascading down his cheeks to mingle with the freezing rain water. He pressed his forehead against his knees, his arms tightening to have a near painful hold on his legs. His body rocked with heaving sobs, almost choking on the unadulterated force of his cries of agony. The events of the previous days rolled over him like tidal waves, drowning him in his own tears and he gasped desperately for air. He screamed into the emptiness of his room until his throat was scratched and raw and there was an insistent ache in his chest. He was bombarded with the misery of guilt. He thought about how if he had been more insistent on taking Makoto to the hospital, he'd be with him right now. They'd be home in Tokyo, trying one of Haru's new recipes before getting ready for bed, resting up for work the next morning. Makoto would be teaching at his school, loving every second of his job that he studied so hard for. Makoto had so many things he wanted to do, with and without Haru, and Haru felt as if he robbed him of that because of his ignorance.

He felt responsible for Makoto's death. Haru had never hated anything more than he hated himself in that very moment.

\--

Haru moved in with Rin Matsuoka on December 20th, 2020.

Haru checked his phone one last time to make sure the address was correct and that he was heading in the right direction. He moved carefully among the heavy crowds of Tokyo, his breath coming out in visible puffs against the cold. Finally, he found the apartment building he'd been looking for. He adjusted the heavy bag on his shoulder before ascending the outdoor staircase to said floor, browsing the names on the mailboxes until he found Matsuoka. He knocked lightly on the door and waited.

He heard shuffling from within and the door unlock before it opened and revealed Rin, who was wearing a typical athletic tank top and joggers. "Hey, Haru." He greeted simply.

"Hey." He said, his voice small.

Rin stepped aside to let Haru in and closed the door. Haru took off his shoes before entering the living room, evaluating his surroundings. The apartment was much smaller than theirs on the outskirts of town.

"Sorry the place is so small," Rin said, as if he could pick up on what Haru was thinking. "It's inner city Tokyo so the rent is pretty high. And I only stay here probably four months out of the year." He made sure to add. Time that he wasn't in Japan was spent in Australia and traveling all around the world for races.

"I hope I'm not intruding." Haru mumbled, already feeling uncomfortable with guilt.

"Dude, no, seriously, it's fine." The redhead assured. "Like I said, I'm barely here anyway, so it makes me feel better that someone actually gets to use the space I pay for."

Haru pursed his lips, glancing down at the ground. The silence had Rin searching for something else to say. "Haru, didn't you had a cat...? Where is she?" He asked.

A sadness crept into Haru's chest. "Rei and Nagisa have been taking care of her."

"... Oh, right." Rin forgot that Haru had been in Iwatobi for the last month in the period of mourning and that he hadn't been back to their apartment yet, either by choice or convenience.  "A-Anyway, your room is back here." He led Haru down the short hallway to a tiny spare bedroom, barely big enough for a futon to spread out on the floor. "I know it's not much, so I hope it's okay."

Haru walked in and set down his duffel bag filled with all new clothes he had just bought in Tokyo that morning because he couldn't bear to gather his things up from the apartment. He didn't know when he would be ready to go back. "Thank you, Rin." He said, kneeling down to start unpacking a few things.

Rin noticed that Haru's engagement ring wasn't on his finger, and it made his eyebrows pull together in confusion and sadness. It was on the tip of his tongue to say something, but he kept it in. "If you need anything my room's right next door, so..."

Haru nodded and Rin lingered for a second, wondering if he should say anything else. A few seconds passed and all he could do was sigh softly, walking away to leave Haru alone with himself.

\--

As the weeks went by, Haru was much worse than Rin had originally thought.

He would go days without even catching a glimpse of him within the apartment, his door always shut with no sign of commotion or life behind it. He would knock gently, reminding him that he had ordered food and that it was always waiting for him in the kitchen. Sometimes he would sit at the table, anticipating his friend to walk out and join him every once in awhile. It never worked out that way. The food would go cold across from him and he'd stow it away in the fridge. Sometimes he'd notice that it'd be gone within the next couple days, but more often than not it sat and accumulated with all the other meals that Haru had skipped out on. He felt like he was constantly cleaning out the fridge of food that was never eaten.

When he would see Haru, it was a near frightening sight. He had dark bags under his eyes, almost as if he got only a few hours of sleep every other day. His once toned and well-kept frame was much skinnier from the lack of exercise and food. It was painful to see him like that, and yet the redhead didn't know what to do.

It was evening when Rin was lounging on his sofa, cooling down after a long training session. He was debating with himself on what he should do that night when he heard the click of Haru's door open, making him perk up. He locked his phone and sat up just as the black-haired boy emerged from the hallway, entering the living space and shuffling towards the kitchen. "Hey, Haru." Rin greeted.

"Hey..." Haru responded quietly.

"So when I was training today, I ran into your coach..." He mentioned, pausing to see what his reaction would be. When he only received a blank stare, he continued. "He, uh... he said that whenever you're ready to start up again that he'd gladly still be there to coach you."

Haru still stared at him, not even a glimmer of interest crossing his features. "Okay..." He said before turning to open the fridge, retrieving a water bottle.

Rin sighed. "I-I just wanted to tell you because, I don't know... maybe exercising and swimming again would help you... feel better." Rin tried to say as delicately as he could.

"Yeah, maybe." Haru answered with disinterest. He stalked off down the hallway, disappearing into the dark until Rin heard his door close. The redhead sat where he was, feeling powerless. He just kept telling himself that things would get better with time.

\--

Probably the worst part about trying to cope with Makoto's death was the fact that he was still so present in everything Haru did.

It wasn't an exaggeration when he was involved in nearly every single aspect of Haru's life. As the black-haired boy drifted through weeks in a foggy haze, it was almost as if every time he made a step forward, he'd take another five steps back. It started with simple things, such as trying to cook for himself. He'd venture out of Rin's apartment for the first time in weeks, being confronted with the fresh air of outside. Even though it felt as if his life had been on pause or even rewind at points, the noisy city always droned on, never stopping, never hesitating. He'd brave the crowds, manage to have a normal interaction with a cashier, carry all the bags home himself.

He'd set everything out on the counter, gathering up the cooking utensils from Rin's very sparse collection in his kitchen. Haru never thought the redhead would live off of take-out, being an athlete and all. There would be a brief moment where his body and mind began to run on autopilot, gathering ingredients and adding them to pans and bowls with ease. Though as soon as it started to feel comfortable, as if he was accomplishing something, a memory would come crashing into his mind, halting everything.

He remembered when he and Makoto had only been living in their apartment for a couple weeks, right after school started. They also had a brief period of time where they only ate take-out and convenience store meals as they slowly but surely went out to buy everything they needed to have a proper home. Haru remembered that he finally went out to buy pots and pans, planning to surprise Makoto with his favorite meal, green curry. Haru thought about that April afternoon, when the windows were open and a cool spring breeze got rid of the musty air in the apartment. He slaved over the stove, checking and rechecking different spice combinations until he felt that it was perfect for his boyfriend.

Makoto came home from class just as it was only a few minutes away from being finished and Haru had been so proud that he timed it just right. He thought of Makoto's delighted smile, how his face lit up with excitement to eat a good home-cooked meal after a long day of class. He remembered that after they ate, Makoto seemed so pleasantly satisfied and how he joked that Haru was going to make a great wife someday. When he said that, Haru just rolled his eyes, unable to come up with a witty response. Makoto had laughed and Haru smiled.

Remembering something so mundane and innocent between them was still enough to feel as if someone had punched him in the stomach. Suddenly, Haru was frozen in place, mouth dry as he stared down at his current task. His hands would shake as he willed the intense wave of emotion to leave him, to let him accomplish one single thing.

In the end of he had to stop. He packed everything back up and threw away whatever he didn't finish. He had lost his appetite in the end, anyway.

And, of course, cooking was only a small aspect of his life in which he thought of Makoto.

What Rin had said to him awhile ago stuck with him, and he found himself thinking about it often. He missed swimming, but any time he thought about it, it only reminded him of Makoto. He thought of the Iwatobi Swim Club, how they all spent grueling hot afternoons timing each other as they vigorously tried to improve their times. He could hear Nagisa's cheers of encouragement, his high laughter as he annoyed Rei and Gou.

He could see Makoto offering him his hand, eyes drooped down as he smiled down at him in the water. He'd say _"let's go, Haru-chan"_. Haru could remember how it felt to be pulled up from the water with the help of Makoto's strength, how each time he tried to act casual even though it made his heart skip a beat in his chest.

All of these things and more made him feel like the only solution to healing himself was through isolation. It even took awhile before he could properly use his laptop or phone without a stab of pain. His phone wallpaper was of Saba, their cat. They both found her, abandoned in an alley on their way home from a run. Makoto heard the small meow and halted, following the sound until he saved her from a box. Together they nursed her back to health until she became the chubby and needy kitty that she was. Haru thought about how she was with Rei and Nagisa, thought about whether or not she was confused as to why Makoto or Haru weren't there for her anymore. It only worsened his guilt. He promptly changed the wallpaper to a blank screen, trying everything he could to not be reminded of anything anymore.

He went through his days as if he was walking on eggshells. If he thought too hard, he'd think of Makoto. If he looked too hard, he'd think of Makoto. He'd even stowed away his engagement ring, unable to even acknowledge its existence without feeling as if everything was collapsing on him.

If truly living was only going to bring him pain, he'd just avoid it all costs.  
  
\--

No matter how many times Haru shot down Rin's offers of trying to get him out of the apartment, he always persisted.

On February 2nd, Rin's birthday, he knocked on Haru's door. "Haru?" He called. Haru, who had been leaning back against the wall, staring at nothing, slowly rose to his feet and cracked the door open. "I was about to leave to go out with the guys, if you wanted to come along... It's a few of my teammates, some guys from Samezuka, and Rei and Nagisa." Rin said to him.

That was probably the tenth request in the last week to get him to do something. Every time Haru had a brief thought that he'd be able to handle it, that he should force himself to get out of his room. Weirdly it was like there was some invisible force field that simply would not allow him to even entertain such a thought for more than a second. "Sorry, but I'm going to pass..." He muttered.

Rin's shoulder slumped slightly and he tried to choke down the disappointment before speaking. "Are you sure? We were going to get some food at a ramen place."

"I'm sure." His words sounded cold and mean, even to him.

"Alright, um... I'll see you later, then." The other responded, stepping away from his door into his own bedroom, shutting himself away.

Haru thought that would be the end of their interaction that day, but he couldn't have been any more wrong. It was a few hours after Rin had left with his friends, only to come stumbling loudly back into the apartment. Even from Haru's room he could hear his keys being tossed sloppily onto the counter and Rin curse under his breath when he almost fell over trying to get his shoes off. Haru didn't even have to see him to know that he was drunk.

Quietly, Haru stepped out into the hallway, peeking out from around the corner into the living area. He watched as Rin collapsed down to sit on the couch, scrubbing at his eyes as very obvious tears rolled down his cheeks. He hadn't noticed that Haru was watching him yet and he sniffed loudly, staring down at the floor.

"Rin...?" Haru said, taking a step into the living room.

The other jumped at his presence, once again frantically wiping his eyes and face to fruitlessly try and rid of the evidence that he had been crying. They both knew it wasn't working, but that didn't stop him from trying, anyway. "H-Haru..." He responded, his voice cracking. He cleared his throat.

"What happened?" He asked, sitting down next to him on the other side of the couch as to not crowd him. He honestly didn't feel like he had the energy to deal with him that night, but he never had the energy for anything, really.

"Nothin'..." He lied and sniffed again. "It's fuckin' stupid, anyway. I already made an ass of myself tonight in front of everyone."

Haru raised his eyebrows at that. He'd been around drunk Rin more than he cared to admit and knew that he was an emotional drunk, whether that be good or bad. Sometimes it was good to really get an idea of what he was feeling, and other times it could be... worrying. The most useful trick he'd picked up on from knowing Rin for so long was that if he just sat quietly and didn't push to know more, Rin would spill his guts to him.

"It's just," The redhead began, right on cue. "I just couldn't sit there, tryin' to pretend everythin' was okay. Everyone kept lookin' at me as if the only thing they wanted to say to me was 'are you okay?' or 'how's Haru? Where's Haru? Is he okay?', especially fuckin' Rei." He scoffed, starting to cry again. "How could I just sit there with all that? The worst part is I don't even know the answer to those fuckin' questions. Everyone's walkin' on eggshells around each other and it's fuckin' infuriating. I don't even know if I'm okay. The whole time I was with them all I could think of was how fuckin' much I missed Makoto bein' there. How much I missed the both of you there. Nobody even mentioned him, it was fuckin' awful... in fact, nobody's even talked about him since he died." Rin rested his elbows on his knees and put his head in his hands, unable to continue for a minute.

Haru stared at him, eyes wide as he was rendered completely speechless.

As there was only a thick silence in response to his words, Rin stood up abruptly. "I'm goin' to bed." He announced definitively. Haru stayed on the sofa, left in a state of shock and confusion. Rin's words haunted him as he tried to sleep that night.

\--

The next day, Haru left the house with Rin.

It was about one in the afternoon and Rin had been fairly absent the whole day. Usually the black-haired boy could hear him shuffle around the apartment throughout the day, leave to exercise or train, and occasionally hear pans clink together if he cooked for himself. However, he heard nothing of the sort from the redhead, only the few footsteps it would take to go to and from the bathroom.

Haru couldn’t stop thinking about Rin’s outburst from the night before. He made it sound like the fact that no one was talking about Makoto made things worse, when that’s what Haru had been trying to achieve for weeks. Haru just thought that the less he thought of Makoto, the easier it would be for him to move on. That’s why he had been isolating himself, that’s why he didn’t meet up with his other friends, that’s why he gave Saba away... was he approaching it all wrong?

Haru sighed, changing into some clothes that would be suitable for running. He walked out of his room, pausing in front of Rin’s door. He took a deep breath in and out through his nose, trying to mentally prepare himself. Finally, he knocked. “Hey, Rin? I was going to go for a jog, if you wanted to come...” He offered, biting his lip as he waited for a response.

The door handle turned and Rin revealed himself, seeing Haru face-to-face. It looked like he didn’t believe what he was hearing. “You want to... go for a run with me?” He repeated just to make sure he heard it right.

Haru awkwardly glanced off to the side, the disbelieving tone making him uncomfortable. “Only if you’re not hungover or something.” He replied, just the smallest hint of sarcasm to his voice.

Rin laughed at that. “I’m good. Just let me change and I’ll be out in a second.”

Haru waited for him by the front door in the living room, thinking that with each passing second if Rin didn’t come out really soon he may lose his nerve and back out. He was too quick, though, joining him after changing into his winter work out gear. “Let’s go.” He exclaimed simply, leading them out and pocketing his keys. Haru followed him down the metal staircase onto the sidewalk, picking up his pace as Rin began to jog at a steady pace. Being early February, it was still bitterly cold in Tokyo, making Haru wish that he had a thicker coat than what he was wearing. The two of them ran in comfortable silence, though Haru felt himself getting winded a lot sooner and he would have maybe a year ago. He wanted to blame it on the thin air, but he can only be in denial for so long. He knew his lack of exercise and diet would cause him to have to slow down much earlier than Rin. The redhead knew this and did a good job of taking walking breaks every once in awhile. Haru was actually enjoying himself, he almost forgot how satisfying it could feel to have a good exercise. He felt his mistreated muscles almost sighing in relief from being moved again.

Eventually the two of them reached a park a few miles away from Rin's apartment and they figured it was a good place to walk. It had snowed a few days ago and it was still sticking to the grassy areas. They passed by some people every once in awhile, bundled up in their coats and scarves. Rin found a bench in the middle of the park and sat down, sighing as he did so. "We can probably take a break here for a minute, Haru."

He nodded, appreciating a second that his legs could rest. The air felt really still and quiet around them, very peaceful. The tips of Haru's ears were cold and he put his hands in the pockets of his jacket as his breathing evened out. He glanced over at Rin next to him who was checking something on his phone. After a few seconds, he locked it and stowed it away back in his pocket. He glanced over, meeting Haru's gaze. "I'm glad you asked me to come run with you." He said genuinely.

"... Yeah, me too." He responded and meant it.

There was a second of silence as Rin turned his head to look ahead of them again. He smiled sadly. "This reminds me of when we were in grade school and we were just starting to swim together. Makoto and I - " He stopped suddenly, as if he just realized what he was saying. He looked like a deer caught in headlights. Just mentioning his name made Haru's chest ache and he squeezed his eyes shut, turning away from Rin. "I-I'm sorry Haru, I wasn't thinking-"

"N-No, it's... it's okay." He said, his voice shaking. He wrung his hands in his lap, biting his lip. "I want to hear it."

"Are you sure?" Rin asked, floored by what the other was saying to him.

"Yes, I'm sure."

Rin's shoulders relaxed, as if a weight had been lifted off of him. He started to recollect memories he had of Makoto, how sometimes they would train and practice together in the pool, mostly trying each other's strokes and laughing when they weren't very good at them. He especially remembered trying to teach Makoto how to swim freestyle, how it took a bit more time because of his fear of water. He remembered how he'd follow him in the other lane, always there for him when he'd have to come up from being too scared.

Haru listened attentively, absolutely blown away by the stories. It felt so surreal to hear about something involving Makoto he'd never known before. He just thought he knew about pretty much everything there was. Hearing Rin speak fondly of him made new memories of Makoto for him even if he wasn't personally there himself. There was also a point where what Rin had said to him the night before just made more sense. Haru had been trying to cope by ignoring that Makoto even existed, while Rin was coping by trying to remember Makoto in moments of life. It was eye-opening and, while it was painful for a minute, he realized how important it was to acknowledge the person they've lost.

\--

On August 1st, 2021, Haru went over to visit Rei and Nagisa.

In the months leading up to the visit, Haru was making slow progress. He and Rin ran together almost every day, though he couldn't bring himself to go swimming yet. Rin understood, but still offered any time he was going to go. Haru tried to spend more time outside of the bedroom, whether that be just sitting at the kitchen table or on the couch in the living room. Being in a more open space with more sunlight was somewhat comforting, even if it didn't seem like much to anyone else. He started to feel restless, which was probably a good thing, since he wasn't necessarily working. Though Haru was fortunate enough that his profession had left him very well off. In fact, they only stayed in their apartment because they had gotten so used to living there. They could have easily afforded to move somewhere else much bigger and nicer.

On Nagisa’s birthday, he got a message from the blond letting him know that he was invited to his party that was just supposed to be close friends. Haru read the message over repeatedly, thinking about it. It wasn’t the first time the two had invited him over, but it was never for an event like this. By this point it had been almost eight months since he had seen the two of them.

He sent a message saying that he would be going and only received an entire paragraph of excited emojis.

When Rin heard the news, he helped Haru pick out an outfit that wasn't so "drab", as he said. As they left the apartment that night together, it felt really weird knowing that he was leaving to actually _go_ somewhere, compared to their aimless runs. He felt really nervous.

They arrived on the other side of Tokyo, standing in front of their apartment. After Rin knocked, Haru's heart raced in his chest. The door swung open to reveal an excited Nagisa, grinning from ear to ear, illuminated by the warm light from inside. "Haru-chan...!" He called, stepping forward to embrace him in a bone-crushing hug. Haru couldn't breathe for a second as the excited blond kept his vice grip on him. "I'm so glad you came!" He stepped back, still smiling widely.

Even after all those years, Nagisa's energy was still so infectious. It was one of his most admirable attributes and Haru felt his nervousness leaving him. "I'm glad, too." He told him genuinely. "I... I don't have a gift for you, though, I'm sorry..." He told him honestly, looking off to the side in shame.

Nagisa giggled, shaking his head. "Haru-chan, I don't care about that at all, I'm just glad you're here." Haru's chest warmed at the statement.

A couple seconds later, Rei appeared in the doorway as well. "Why don't you come inside? I'm almost done setting everything up." He told them. The three shuffled inside one after the other, Rin and Haru shedding their shoes at the threshold. Rin wandered inside with Nagisa, asking what kind of food they were eating and where the alcohol was. Typical Rin. Rei lingered by Haru, watching him. Haru wasn't really sure how to feel about it. "Haruka-senpai, I know Nagisa has said it multiple times, but... we really are glad you're here." He said and adjusted the red glasses on his face.

Haru nodded. "... Thank you for not forgetting about me." He mumbled.

Rei's expression softened and he smiled kindly at him. "That could never happen." He said.

Suddenly, Nagisa called out to them from the kitchen, announcing that food was ready. Haru walked further into the apartment after Rei, really taking in his surroundings. It was a nice place, really clean and well-kept, no doubt due to Rei. There was some fancy art on the walls as well as photos of the two. There were a few decorations scattered about for Nagisa's birthday, like a banner, streamers, and balloons. It seemed slightly childish, but Nagisa had always loved that kind of stuff. In fact, this whole birthday party was pretty out of the ordinary for the blond, who preferred explosive outings to clubs that involved way too much alcohol. Haru wondered why he would change his mind that year. The food selection was mostly junk food, like pizza and chicken wings. Nagisa explained that Rei always made them eat healthy meals so this was what he wanted more than anything. That made Rin laugh as he was already sipping on a beer.

Right before Haru was about to enter the kitchen to grab some food, he felt something soft brush up against his leg. He stopped dead in his tracks, glancing down to meet Saba's green eyes. She meowed up at him, already purring. Seeing her suddenly made it feel like there was a knot in his throat as he thought of Makoto. He could feel the tears already forming in his eyes and he quickly wiped them away. Delicately, he squatted down so he was closer to her, letting her sniff his hand. Even though it had been months, she rubbed her soft cheeks on his fingers and continued to purr loudly. He gently scritched the top of her head and ran his hand down the length of her back, already feeling calmed by her presence. It was so good to know that Rei and Nagisa had been taking good care of her.

Rei noticed that Haru stopped and upon seeing the interaction, he smiled. He came over to the two of them, squatting down as well. "It looks like she missed you." He said.

Haru nodded as she then went to rub up against Rei as well. The other man laughed and pet her too. "I missed her too. Thank you for taking care of her." He said to Rei.

Rei waved him off dismissively. "We didn't mind at all. We like having her around, she's so sweet."

Haru bit his lip as he thought for a second. "Could I... take her back home with me?" He asked tentatively.

Rei looked up in surprise at that. He stuttered a couple times before he could get out what he was trying to say. "O-Of course, Haruka-senpai, we can gather up her stuff tonight and let you take her."

For some reason, it just felt right in that moment to take her back. She was something that both he and Makoto cared about dearly, and incorporating her back in his life felt like it was a good step towards recovery. He nodded at Rei's words. "I'd really like that."

They all settled around the table once they had their food, the three of them laughing and joking with each other. "So, Nagisa," Rin spoke up, "What made you have a party here with just us? Usually you go out with a huge group or whatever, like last year."

"Hmm..." The blond put a finger to his chin as he thought. "I dunno, I guess I just wanted something more personal. I can go out with my friends from work and school whenever I want, but this felt like the right thing to do for my party. Especially since we don't get together much, anymore."

Those last words hung in the air for a second until Rin remembered to respond. "I think it's a good idea."

Nagisa smiled, taking another bite of his pizza. As he slowly chewed and swallowed the bite, he stared down at his plate sadly. "I do wish Mako-chan were here with us, though..."

The whole room fell into a dead silence and suddenly it was like Haru could feel the emptiness on the chair next to him. He gripped the edge of his seat tightly and his jaw locked.

"Me too," Rin said, "But that doesn't mean we can't have a good time. I think... I think he'd want that for us, yeah?" His statement turned into more of a question as he began to doubt himself halfway through.

Across from him, Nagisa sniffed and smiled again, trying to turn the mood around. "You're right, Rin-chan. He would like that."

As much as it hurt to acknowledge the empty presence in the room, it felt weirdly comforting when he was at least mentioned. For a second Haru understood why Rin had been so upset on his own birthday in February. If they hadn't mentioned Makoto at all, it would have just made things worse. He ate his food slowly and watched the other three converse, listening to Nagisa's bizarre stories at his work and also about Rei's studies. He didn't have much to say, though it wasn't that much different than how he always was with them. They all finished and Rei came forward with a cake, decorated incredibly with bright pink frosting and pastel blue letters that read "happy birthday, Nagisa-kun!" Nagisa's eyes literally had stars in them with excitement and he leaned up to lay a big kiss on the other's cheek. Even though they've been together since high school Rei still looked like he was about to die from embarrassment. They sang him happy birthday and with a deep breath, he blew out the candles.

The cake was served and funnily enough, Nagisa is the only one among them that had a huge sweet tooth. The other three indulged in a very little (in Rin's case he only took a dab of icing off of Haru's piece). They left their dishes on the table as they began transitioning into the next activity, which was some video games.

"Haru-chan, come with me to help pick out the games we're going to play!" Nagisa told him, lightly grabbing his wrist and pulling him along. He went willingly, letting the blond take him to their living room and he knelt down on the floor in front of their entertainment center. He opened some of the cabinets, producing all sorts of games for various systems. "So, I was thinking we obviously needed Mario Kart, or maybe Mario Party? OR we could hook up the DDR and..."

As Nagisa continued to talk, Haru noticed something on his left ring finger. He zeroed in on it, squinting to make sure he was seeing it right. It was a gold band, small and subtle on his hand.

Haru reached out to put his hand on Nagisa's arm, causing the other trail off with whatever he was saying as he looked at Haru curiously. He grasped Nagisa's hand so that his fingers were straight and he could properly see the ring. Nagisa finally caught on with what Haru was staring at and he paled.

"When...?" Haru couldn't even finish the question, feeling a sense of whiplash.

"U-Um..." Nagisa cradled his hand to his chest when Haru let go, almost like he was embarrassed. "... I think it was mid-August of last year..." He tried to say nonchalantly, avoiding Haru's piercing gaze. He actually knew the exact day and second when it happened, but he wasn't about to say it.

Haru's eyebrows furrowed together, dumbfounded by the information. "Why didn't you tell us?" Haru asked.

Nagisa sighed, seeming so insecure, which was very unlike him. "We were going to tell people after a few weeks, but then Mako-chan got into the accident..." Haru tried not to think about that too hard. "After that we just kept it to ourselves, waiting until things settled down and he recovered, but then... well, you know." The other bit his lip, fiddling with the ring on his finger. When Haru was silent, Nagisa sighed. "I'm sorry, Haru-chan, I meant to take it off because I didn't want to upset you-"

"I'm really happy for you." Haru interrupted.

Nagisa blinked, mouth opening but no words came out yet. "You're not upset?" He asked, shrinking in on himself.

Haru shook his head. "No, I'm not upset." The fact that they felt like they had to hide something from him made him feel guilty, even if what they were doing was with his best interest in mind. The worst part was that Haru actually doesn't know how he would have reacted if he heard the news only a couple months after Makoto died. It was hard to say.

Nagisa smiled at him, looking bashful. "Thanks, Haru-chan." He said. However, Haru could tell that he wanted to say something else to him. He psyched himself up enough to ask it. "Haru-chan... why don't you wear your engagement ring?"

The question felt like stab in his stomach. He was suddenly very aware of the emptiness on his hand. The worst part was that he didn't have a good answer. "... I don't know. It just makes me sad." He answered honestly.

Nagisa nodded, his magenta eyes glancing down at the ground. "I guess I just thought that it would remind you of happy times rather than sad times."

For a second the statement annoyed Haru, overwhelmed with the fact that Nagisa had no idea what he was going through and that things weren't that easy. As insensitive as he thought it was, he knew that Nagisa was only trying to help him and that he couldn't expect him to say the perfect thing every time. "It does remind me of those times, but it also just makes me think that he's gone more often." He explained softly.

Once again Nagisa nodded. "Okay..."

The silence was heavy and Haru was ready to move away from the topic and get Nagisa's birthday back on track. "I think we should play this." Haru announced, picking up the Mario Kart game he had mentioned earlier.

The shorter of the two smiled. "Okay, let's play that one first."

The topic was dropped and they resumed the party, Rin and Rei joining them a few minutes later, completely unaware of what the two had talked about. They played games together and Rin got way too competitive, being a sore loser every time Haru kicked his ass in a race. Seeing drunk Rin turning the wii steering wheels violently and yell at the screen was extremely hilarious. Haru even laughed a few times that night. When it was time to go home, Nagisa and Rin were pleasantly buzzed and goodbyes took about three time as long as they normally do. Nagisa hugged Haru about twenty times, constantly reminding him that they'll have to see each other again soon. Haru agreed every time.

As Haru and Rin walked home together with Saba in her cat carrier, his chest felt full for the first time in months. He almost forgot what it was like spending time with his friends. He also thought about what he talked about with Nagisa and what he should do moving forward.

\--

That same month, Haru started swimming again.

He doesn't really know what specific event led to the motivation to swim once again, all he knew was that it was strong and hard to ignore. When Rin would come back from the pool and he had the smell of chlorine on him, Haru craved the feeling of his body moving effortlessly through the water, the stillness when he was submerged, how the world would just disappear.

"Hey, Rin?" Haru said one Sunday as the redhead was lounging around on the couch. He looked up at him curiously. "Did you want to go for a swim...?" He asked.

Rin smirked, his sharp teeth making him look even more mischievous. "Hell yeah, I could use a good race right about now."

Haru's heart was already racing at the implication and he smiled as well. "You're on."

When Haru entered the locker rooms at the local pool, a million memories of nostalgia flooded him all at once. It was honestly overwhelming for a minute. The smell of chlorine, the sound of people talking and their voices echoing off the walls, it felt like his second home. When he jumped in the pool for the first time, he floated on his back and sighed in pure bliss, feeling weightless. He wondered why he waited so long to do this. From the side of the pool, Rin called out to him for a race. Wordlessly, Haru pulled himself out and they positioned themselves on the starting block. His muscles tensed in anticipation as Rin started them off and when he jumped off, there was a moment where he felt like he was flying, like he was free.

Unsurprisingly, Rin absolutely destroyed him. While it should have made him upset, it only motivated him to start training again. While Haru had always and will always will enjoy swimming just for what it is, something about Rin brought out the competitive side in him. He asked for a rematch, each time finishing full seconds behind Rin. His breathing was ragged as he pulled his swim cap off.

Rin laughed next to him, pushing his wet hair back out of his face. "When you get back to how you used to be, we'll have to race for real."

Haru thought about whether or not he would be able to start training again, and if it was too late for his coach to take him back. He figured the fact that he wanted to go back at all was a good sign. "Yeah, we will." He agreed with Rin.

"Deal." Rin said, extending his fist out to him. Haru bumped their knuckles together. "Wanna go again?"

Haru nodded, already pulling his goggles back down over his eyes. 

\--

On November 1st, 2021, Haru moved back into his old apartment. Two days before the anniversary of Makoto's death.

Haru could tell that Rin had started to become restless during his time in Japan. He had already been there for almost a year and while he didn't tell Haru about it, he knew it was only a matter of time before his coaches in Australia would start bothering him about moving back. He knew he was only staying because of Haru at that point, not wanting to leave him alone.

In the last week of October, when the weather was just starting to get colder, he told Rin "I think I'm ready to move back into the apartment."

It was over dinner and the redhead stopped eating completely, staring at him. "Haru... Are you sure?" He asked, a hint of doubt in his voice.

He nodded, looking down at his own plate. The thought made him nervous, knowing that there were so many memories there, but he couldn't run away from them forever. "I'm ready."

Rin believed him.

He started the process of packing up his things. It only took a couple hours, mostly because he tried not to invade Rin's space as much as he could. He just gathered up some clothes, his toiletries, electronics, and Saba's things back into the duffel bag he'd been living out of since he moved in.

The day had come and as Haru stood by the door waiting for Rin, he felt even more nervous than he had in the days leading up to it. He glanced down at the ring on his finger (something he started wearing in the last few weeks) and his heart felt heavy. When Rin finally joined him, he helped carry some things as they headed in the direction of the apartment. As the businesses became more familiar, he swallowed thickly, his pulse only quickening. A cold breeze swept by them and he shivered.

Finally, he stood in front of the apartment building, and he felt like he was glued in place. He just kept staring up at it, knowing that he was only a few steps away from a time capsule. Rin watched him nervously, biting his lip. "Hey, are you good?" He asked.

Haru snapped out of his trance, meeting the redhead's worried gaze. He nodded after a second of thought. "I'm okay..." He said, though his voice sounded unsure, even to him. Haru started to ascend the staircase, coming closer and closer to their door. Finally, he was there, standing in front of it, the mailbox still reading Tachibana and Nanase. That alone made him feel like he was going to collapse from the conflicting emotions hitting him all at once.

Next to him, Rin set down the things he had been carrying, uncomfortable with how thick the air was. "Do you need me to go in with you?"

Haru quickly shook his head, retrieving his keys from his pocket. He caught a glimpse of his dolphin keychain that Makoto had bought him one day. "No, I need to do this myself..." He said honestly.

Rin sighed, still looking unsure. "I guess this is where I say goodbye, then."

That statement made Haru stop, looking over at the redhead. It dawned on him just how much he had done for him in the last year. "Rin... I don't know how I can ever repay you." He said quietly.

Rin watched him, searching his eyes as he thought of what to say. "It's okay, Haru, I don't need anything in return. I'm just glad I could help you." His voice cracked on his last words and he sniffed suddenly, eyes welling up with tears. He quickly tried to wipe them away.

"Rin, don't cry..."

Another sniff. "'m not cryin'." Rin defended. He managed to get himself together enough so that he could continue talking. "I'm serious, though, you don't even need to thank me. I'm just glad I could be there for my friend." He admitted.

Haru's lips upturned in the most gentle smile, appreciation building up in his chest. "Thank you, Rin." He stated again even though the redhead said it was unnecessary.

Rin nodded, putting his hands into the pockets of his jacket. "No problem, man. If you need anything I'll still be around for a few more weeks but..."

"You have to go back to Australia." Haru finished his sentence for him, already having coming to terms with it.

Rin seemed relieved that he didn't have to say it himself. "Y-Yeah, I do. Don't be afraid to keep in contact with me, though, I want to hear from you."

The plea almost made Haru laugh, since Rin had always been notorious for not keeping in touch when he was away. Maybe that would change after all that had happened. "Okay, I will."

Rin extended out his fist towards Haru with a smirk, his eyes still a little puffy from crying. "I'll see you around, man."

"See ya." Haru responded, bumping their fists together.

He waved as Rin made his way down the staircase and into the crowds, truly leaving him alone once more. Haru turned back towards the door, heart beating so quickly that he could hear it in his ears. He put the key in the lock and turned it, hearing the deadbolt click loudly. He pushed it open, nervously glancing inside. He gathered his things, maneuvering slightly so that he could fit through the narrow doorway. Once inside, he set a lot of things down at the threshold as he took a second to process his surroundings. It was amazing how everything was just how he left it. From the late afternoon sunlight drifting in through the blinds, he could see the dust floating in the air. It smelled musty because of how long it had been shut up.

Haru took hesitant steps inside, still holding onto his duffel bag with an iron grip so that his knuckles were white. He knew it was going to happen, and yet it was still just as difficult. He kept getting flashes of memories when they lived together. Them cooking together in the small kitchen, sitting together on the sofa, Haru leaned back against Makoto's chest. How Makoto would read over his shoulder as Haru watched TV, his glasses placed delicately on his nose. On the coffee table were still some of their mugs that they neglected to pick up sometimes.

It felt like it was hard for Haru to breathe. As much as he wanted to turn back and run outside, to run away from it, he had to keep going, he _knew_ he had to keep going. With small steps, he turned left down their hallway, dark and looming. It looked a bit more inviting when he flipped on the lights. There were a few photos on the walls, mostly of them when they were still swimming in high school, among other things. As Haru pressed on, he passed their bathroom and when he glanced inside, it was the worst feeling so far. He thought of Makoto laid out on the floor, clutching his hand and gasping for breath. He thought of those last few minutes as he sat powerless on the ground with him.

He felt sick. He put a hand over his mouth, squeezing his eyes shut as he turned his head away. He tried to regulate his breathing through his nose, wishing that any other thought but that would have come to his mind. He stood there for what was probably minutes, the same memory playing over and over again. It was excruciating.

When his breathing slowed down, he dropped his hand, ignoring the bathroom and moved forward towards their room. He quietly stepped inside, almost like he was afraid to break the stillness of the air. It almost hurt how many thoughts were coming back to him. Their first night together when they kissed lazily until they fell asleep, all the quiet Sunday mornings spent dozing off with their arms around each other, the night that Makoto said he wanted to marry him. It all took place there.

Haru set down his duffel bag on the floor, a weight being literally lifted off of his shoulder. On their nightstand was a framed picture of them, one of the very few since Haru wasn't really a fan of pictures. He wished that they had taken more together. He picked it up, using his thumb to wipe off the dust that had accumulated on the glass. It was the night they got engaged, dressed in comfy clothes and laying down on the hotel bed. Makoto was kissing Haru's cheek and instead of the typical annoyed face he would have, he was smiling affectionately, his ring on display as it loosely gripped the arm that Makoto had wrapped around him.

Suddenly tears were dripping down off of his chin before he could even try to stop them, unable to tear his eyes away from the picture. He sat gingerly on the edge of the bed, trying to collect himself, even if it seemed fruitless. For some reason he was reminded of when he returned home from the funeral, how he sobbed uncontrollably and screamed into the emptiness for no one to hear. While he had the same lack of control over himself as he did then, it also felt different. Then he felt like he was drowning compared to the sensation of resurfacing. While he was still plagued by crushing loneliness and the knowledge that Makoto wasn't coming back, he felt ready to move forward, and being there was another major step in his journey.

Haru's tears slowed down significantly to almost nothing and once again he was left in the silence of the apartment, just trying to reacquaint himself with being there. He sighed, pressing the framed picture to his chest as he laid down on the bed underneath him. It was soft and the bed sheets still smelled like Makoto. Turning his head to the side, he watched out the window as the sun began to set behind the Tokyo skyline. His sapphire eyes were nearly luminous in the golden light. It was weird to think that he had been gone for so long because, in that moment, it felt like he never left.

In the end, he was finally home, and that's all that mattered.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm still a sucker for sappy endings.
> 
> I hope you guys enjoyed this fic. I poured my heart into it and really tried to make something upsetting yet touching. I've personally never lost a loved one and trying to capture that feeling for Haru was difficult, so I hope I did it some sort of justice. 
> 
> Once again please leave kudos and a comment if you enjoyed this, they really really motivate me to keep writing. 
> 
> Also follow me on [Tumblr](http://nagi-chan-san.tumblr.com/) if you're interested!


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